How to stop comparing yourself to others

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Like most of us, I’m not immune to comparing myself to others, however I don’t fall into the comparison trap nearly as much as I used to, and when I do find myself thinking that way I’m able to get myself out of it pretty quick because I’ve developed personal strategies for managing it.stop comparing yourself to others (2)

Of course, some comparison can be a positive thing, especially when it motivates us and reminds us we can achieve the same thing. However, negative comparison issues can really get you down, so finding some ways to overcome that is key. Here are my top tried and tested tips for stopping comparing yourself to others.

Have a social media ‘detox’

This is as simple as un-following anyone or anything that doesn’t make you feel good. It’s not a slight against the person as it’s not their fault, rather you are taking control of what you’re exposed to and how that makes you feel.

Analyse it

Whenever you feel like you are caught in that comparison trap, or even feeling a bit jealous, think about the ‘why’. A huge turning point for me was understanding that the issue I had was not with the person / people I was comparing myself to, rather it was just a reflection of my own issues. Once I got my head around that I was able to look at the feelings more objectively and understand myself better. Sometimes wants and needs are buried deep down and rather than us really thinking about them, they pop up as those feelings of comparison and jealously. For example if you are comparing yourself to that person on Instagram with the perfectly put together life and beautiful kids who seem to do loads of family activities, perhaps what you are seeking deep down is more quality time with your family and the ability to be better organised?

Have your own goals and aspirations

Something that has been hugely helpful for me is connecting to what I really want. Once I started analysing my feelings and uncovering genuine desires and identifying what was due to other influences, I’ve really been able to reduce how often I feel comparison issues. Connect with what happiness is for you and use that as a driver to let other stuff go.

Surround yourself with positives that reinforce feeling good about you

If you are a visual person like me, creating an inspiration board filled with positive images can be so helpful. Obviously Pinterest is fabulous and you can create secret boards that are just for you. I have one called ‘Fabulous Me’ full of images that remind myself how fabulous I am!

I hope those tips will help you out of that comparison trap, remember that often what we see online is an edited version of reality after all.


Laura Agar Wilson



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